Making Dan Quayle Look Good

Surely you remember Dan Quayle, the Good President Bush’s surprising choice to run, as it turned out successfully, as his Vice President in 1988? No? The young man from Indiana who, among other mis-statements, mangled logic, and pure mistakes once famously pronounced a mind a terrible thing to lose and opined that the future will be better tomorrow?

Well, no matter. Our subject today touches only incidentally on this worthy, who effectively disappeared from the public eye when he and his boss were emphatically denied second terms. No, today we pause to reflect on John McCain’s breath-taking choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Turning his back on such relative political heavies as Governors Pawlenty and Ridge, Senators Bayh and Lieberman, bazillionare Mitt Romney, and the members of this year’s winning Little League World Series team, McCain has stunned the punditocracy, damped his opponent’s post-convention bounce, and given attendees at the Republican Convention something to talk about in addition to who’s wearing the cutest elephant-themed accessories. Not to mention tightened his grip on the title of Panderer in Chief.

Can anyone over the age of six seriously entertain the notion that a man with exactly Sarah’s experience and qualifications would have merited more than, say, eight seconds of consideration by anyone running for President on other than the American Monster Raving Looney Party ticket? McCain’s choice is nothing if not redolent with blatant sexism. In a monumental exercise of ends-justified means, he has pitched up a candidate intended to appeal not only to the right-of-Genghis Kahn members of his party but to those Hillary supporters so outraged by their hero’s rejection that they would vote for Lucretia Borgia before pulling the lever for Obama and Biden. That many of her loyalists could be gulled by this amazing bait and switch is political cynicism on steroids.

One needn’t have been a Hillary fan to perceive her as being more or less in support of the positions of many women on the issues important to them and, for that matter, anyone else giving a damn about the current parlous state of the nation. Had not the Straight Talk Express been abandoned off road in the weeds, one might have expected John to say, “Look, my friends, at the great thing I have done. A short quarter-century after the Democrats did it, I have elevated a woman to run for national office. For all you disappointed by my opponent’s unconscionable rejection of Hillary, I give you a Vice Presidential candidate who is clearly of the female gender. Now I know some may disagree with her on abortion rights, capital punishment, gun control, same-sex marriage, the theory of evolution, and other issues, but I wanted someone on my platform who could make my own positions look, by comparison, eminently reasonable.”

Well, what are a few policy differences among friends? And what does It matter that apart from some of the flashpoint issues in the culture wars we know essentially nothing about Sarah’s thinking or positions? On matters such as the Middle East conflict, immigration reform, terrorism, educational standards, nuclear arms control, the housing market, Russian belligerency, taxes, Sarah presents a slate free from any markings.

Another frightening aspect of Sarah being the proverbial heartbeat away from a 72-year old is that she admits to being clueless about the position. Early this month, she said in an interview, “But as for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does everyday? I’m used to being very productive and working real hard in an administration. We want to make sure that that VP slot would be a fruitful type of position, especially for Alaskans and for the things that we’re trying to accomplish up here for the rest of the U.S., before I can even start addressing that question” (CNBC, 8/1/08).

One might be charitable and venture that such stunning ignorance can be excused as the result of lack of familiarity with the national government. After all, Washington for Sarah may be nothing more than the state nearest Alaska. And we need look back no farther than Spiro Agnew for a Vice President who hopelessly confused local and national interests. Perhaps eighteen months as the governor of a state with the population of Memphis, and a preceding run as mayor of a town with fewer residents than were turned away from Obama’s acceptance speech have, through some mystic means, so well prepared her that all she requires is directions to the Vice President’s office. But perhaps not.

Whatever his failings, Dan Quayle brought to the Vice Presidency sixteen years of experience in Congress, two terms each as a Representative and a Senator. We could have done worse and with Sarah Palin, probably have. Somewhere, Dan must be smiling.