Say It Ain't So

No, not because of the possibility that the gezillion polls all showing Obama walking away with the election will all turn out to have been terribly wrong and we’ll wake up November 5th (or January 27th, depending on Florida) to discover that McCain and the Moose Mistress are headed for Washington.

What’s truly worrisome is that Samuel J. Werzelbacher has engaged Pathfinder Management of Nashville to be one of his – are you ready? – three music industry representatives. This despite the cautious observation by the President of Pathfinder that while his new client “can carry a tune, we’re not calling him anything until we get him into a studio.” Now, hands up if you see where this is going. OK, all hands down. The moniker prospectively in question is not, as those less informed might guess, anything cute, topical, or intended to poke a finger in the eye of polite society. We speak rather of the most recent piece of flotsam cast up on the public beach by the churning political oceans, a worthy to be known for the remainder of his over-extended fifteen minutes as Joe the Plumber.

You can’t make this stuff up. Joe (let’s concede this a far better option that using his actual first name) the Plumber has hired not one, but three agents to guide him through the maze of his newfound celebrity status. And if events should conspire to line his pockets with some of the $250,00 he famously told Obama he needed to buy the company employing him, well, is this a great country or what?

Here’s Jim Della Croce, President of Pathfinder, waxing lyric on Joe’s talents: “Joe the Plumber is fast becoming a brand. He is a dynamic speaker and an everyman who has become an overnight celebrity.” And prospects? “It wouldn’t be far afield to have Joe be the spokesperson for Home Depot, representing the shoulder-to-the-wheel working stiff.”

Leave aside the lamentable condescension Jim evidently feels towards his new protégé and let us ruminate for a moment on the glittering options now within Joe’s reach. Spokesperson for Home Depot? Small change. Why not the endorser of his own line of plumbing tools? Or, recognizing his apparent ability to keep the IRS at bay, why not open a network of storefronts pedaling tax advice? Maybe he could even run for Vice President. On the evidence available, his talents and qualifications put him somewhere between the two current contenders.